


You Are The Hole In My Head

by speakgenerally



Series: you're my head, you're my heart. [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speakgenerally/pseuds/speakgenerally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You’ve put in a lot of work these last months and I’ve tried to forget since it’s over now, and you’ve come back to me. It’s still going to take a lot to think I’m not your last thought and your last choice,” Stiles is at the front door, “Don’t call me or see me I’ll get in touch with you when I want to.”</p><p>Scott waited a few minutes before completely wrecking his mother’s house, he tried to keep it contained to his room, but there was a lazy boy and a few family pictures on the way that were destroyed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are The Hole In My Head

Scott has a problem. Nothing horrible, or supernatural, but a problem nonetheless. The problem? Stiles. Scott really, really wants to fuck his best friend. He’s tried to ignore it. Stiles may seem like he’ll swing both ways, but Scott knows he’s a different entity entirely. He didn’t realize it before. Not when they were younger, not when he was with Allison, and really Scott may have never known. 

And on the most mundane day, just the normal boring rigmarole, and it hit him all at once. Scott’s focus sharpened, eyes glinting red in the sunlight as he looked up and over to Stiles, to tell him to press play on the movie since he had the remote on his side of the couch. 

Scott stiffened as he watched as Stiles tried to lick all of the ice cream that had melted onto his hand, down and across his knuckles, thick, and white. Scott felt really uncomfortable for about 0.5 seconds, and then not, because Scott’s pretty liberal, a free minded individual. He’s never thought it was weird that Danny thought that Brad was as blinding as Allison. He’s just never felt that way. He never thought he would to be honest, and for Stiles no less. But he is, at least as he watched Stiles lick, and lick, and lick because Stiles had focused on the movie so intensely he had forgot his ice cream altogether, the only reason the movie was paused at all was because Scott had to take a leak. 

So, Stiles has to have been working for a little while, trying to cajole all that sickeningly sweet liquid into that soft, plush mouth, and still going away, eagerly licking himself clean.

Holy fuck, Scott has a flash of jerking off, all messy over his fist and, much like Stiles’ ice cream, offering it to Stiles tongue for little kitten licks. 

Scott adjusts himself quickly, but Stiles catches the movement and looks up lightening quick. Tongue out and lapping, head tipped back, throat exposed, and challenging. Scott stared back wondering how he’s never seen Stiles like that, and of course he’s going to get caught at just that second, and Scott isn’t ready.

But then, Stiles snorts and rolls his eyes. Turning them back to the movie and presses play, and lips start to suck at pale sticky flesh. After all the cream has been cleaned Stiles starts back at the cone now, taking neat and economical bites of the treat. Scott hasn’t looked away.

Scott is so fucking screwed.

Days later and it’s been on his mind constantly. He knows he has a problem, but he’s not really sure what to do with it. Stiles is his best friend, this could really fuck that relationship up, but Scott can’t stop thinking about if Stiles wanted him back. 

He can’t just come out with it. He knows Stiles enough to know that he’d either think it was a joke, or that Scott was making some sort of dig at his bisexuality since it tends to lean strongly towards men. Scott also knows that he was a shitty friend not too long ago, not looking out for Stiles or seeming to care about him at all.

That’s Scott’s downfall once he notices something he can’t stop noticing it, and wanting it. He has tunnel vision when he feels like this, it was worse with Allison, not because Allison was better. She was new, liked him back, and he was younger. It was puppy love in the time of war. It felt like more than it was and Scott may not like admitting that he almost lost his best friend because he was being an idiot, but it’s true. 

Scott can’t just go up to Stiles and tell him that he wants to fuck him. It’s not just that, which would probably be easier than what Scott wants to do. Scott thinks that Stiles is more, more than anyone he’s been with, and it’ll be hard trying to convince Stiles that he’s sincere. 

Scott knows he needs to build up to telling Stiles, but Stiles isn’t making it easy. Scott always thought it was Derek that had the with the aversion to clothes, but it’s Stiles aversion to pants that make it unbearable for Scott. 

White t-shirt and shorter than acceptable boxers. It would be so easy for Scott to sit next to Stiles run his hand up that pale thigh, and make Stiles good and hard for him. 

Scott needs to chill out.

He knows his eyes are flashing and that’s not anything good. Scott is older, is an Alpha now, he has better control than this. But he doesn’t, not when Stiles is sleep tousled and trying to reach up to grab a coffee mug. His shirt rides up while his back and legs flex. 

Scott just wants to push Stiles up the counter, pressing into him from behind. It would be so easy to pull Stiles’ boxers down just for a sneak peak of that ass. That ass! Scott looks away already sporting a half-chub because of Stiles’ indecent display.

It’s getting out of hand, and Scott isn’t any closer to telling Stiles. 

It’s Derek of all people that catches on first. Even though Derek and Scott get along better doesn’t mean there isn’t some friction between the two. Especially concerning Stiles, more so in the last couple months or so since Scott’s epiphany. 

Derek is once again an Alpha, but they both know that Beacon Hills would be better protected by the both of them. They switched off territory, and it works out as well as it can. Stiles is helping with that, makes sure to stroke both their egos, but Stiles is smart and runs his own agenda. Scott knows. Derek knows. But it’s easier to go along with things that Stiles manipulates them into because it’s all for the best and not for anything nefarious. 

Derek and Stiles are friends. It’s a point of contrition with Scott. If he had been there for Stiles than Stiles wouldn’t need Derek. It’s too late now, they’re friends, and they like hanging out together even if it’s mostly arguing and posturing. It also doesn’t help that Stiles is attracted to Derek, that he lets his eyes linger a little longer over Derek. 

Nothing has happened, and nothing will if Scott has his way. Derek hasn’t tried anything, and Stiles will never be the first to make a move. Not with his insecurities. They’re at a stand off. Scott supposes they are he’s never been able to read Derek and isn’t sure how deep his affection towards Stiles goes. Scott also isn’t really sure if Stiles only thinks Derek’s hot and doesn’t want anything more with him. Scott hasn’t asked, and now he’s too scared to. 

Derek finds out first and it’s a rookie mistake. They’ve all decided to go swimming out in a creek in the preserve. Scott knew he’d have to be on guard with three werewolves and Lydia around. Even if Stiles wouldn’t be able to tell everyone else was way too perceptive to let this go unnoticed. 

Scott hung back a little ways as everyone took off their outer layers and got down to their swim suits. He stilled completely when he caught Stiles in a red speedo, which should have looked really fucking stupid, but just didn’t. Not at all. Scott was fucked, but he shook his head and moved to take off his clothes, and when he looked up Derek was smirking at him. 

Scott bared his teeth and let his eyes flash. He shouldn’t have and Derek didn’t seem to take it personally. 

“Look at him,” Derek said smirk never leaving his face, as Cora, Isaac and Stiles all jumped around in the water like children. Lydia was further away trying to suntan in the small portion of sun that got through the thick forest. “He really takes the little red complex to a whole other level, doesn’t he?” 

“If you fucking tell him,” Scott growls and Derek rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not going to fucking tell him,” Derek looks away, “it would make it too easy for you if I tell him.” 

“Scott hurry up and get in,” Stiles calls from the water and Scott turns to look at Stiles standing at the edge of the creek, water dripping down his toned body, and that speedo doing nothing to hide anything. Scott wanted to get in alright. Then Stiles turns around, bends over and dives into the water. 

Scott tries to hold back the tiny whimper, but knows Derek heard him. That bastard grins at him and runs into the water.

Scott wants it to be a rule that only really hairy, middle aged men wore speedos, because this isn’t half-chub territory. Good thing no one can scent anything in the water.

Scott jumps in, and if he’s touching and crowding Stiles more than necessary well, only Derek picks up on it, so Scott calls it a win. 

Scott has been trying for the last few months to give Stiles space, because he knows he’s getting clingy, and it’s weird. Scott knows it’s weird and he wants it not to be in case Stiles never becomes interested in him. Scott will always need Stiles in his life in which ever way he’s allowed. 

So, Scott has been trying. He doesn’t necessarily succeed, but Stiles doesn’t know that. Scott has taken to watching him sleep, which is definitely stalker territory, but Scott has his little vices and he won’t give them up until he has to. He’s also drawn a line at watching Stiles jerk off, too worried Stiles would say someone else’s name, and Scott isn’t ready for that yet. To know that he doesn’t stand a chance. 

Except tonight Scott changes his mind at the last moment, decides if Stiles wants someone else than Scott can still get to see Stiles come. Not an equal trade off, but it’s something. 

What Scott doesn’t realize as Stiles grabs his lube, warms it up in his hands and then strokes his cock a few times, is that Stiles jerk off sessions aren’t like Scott’s. Because Stiles hand moves lower after fondling his balls, further down, until they’re swirling around his hole. Scott only has to lean over, and hold onto the side of Stiles’ house, precariously perched, to have a really fucking good view of Stiles fingers moving in and out of his sweet, little hole. 

Scott is about to burst through his jeans and if he could get a hand on himself without losing the view, and falling out of the tree he’d be doing it. It’s a sick kind of torture watching, and listening through the window as Stiles fucks himself with his fingers and jerks himself off. Scott wants to do everything to Stiles, remove Stiles fingers and lick him out until Stiles couldn’t stand it and then line himself up with that tight, empty hole, and fuck him and fill him. He wants to have Stiles begging, wants to break him apart, and it’s almost too much. 

The smell that Stiles gives off on a regular day is enough to get Scott interested, but now? It’s unbearable. If Scott had less control he’d be worried about doing something stupid. Scott just watches and knows his eyes are glowing red. 

When Stiles is finished Scott jumps out of the trees and goes for a run. All he wants to do is lick Stiles clean and he knows his control is wavering, so he runs. He runs for hours until he collapses on his back in the brush. He’s breathing heavily as he takes his cock out of his pants and strokes like he’s trying to punish himself. He comes remembering Stiles flushed face and his hole clenched around his fingers. 

Maybe it’s time to let Stiles in on the secret. 

Scott tries not to show his displeasure at being at Derek’s house for a barbeque. It was supposed to be his night to hang out with Stiles, not Derek’s, but he can’t be a little bitch, especially since Derek invited him as well. 

It’s later in the evening when Stiles is drunk and clinging to Scott that he doesn’t mind that he’s here. Stiles is curled up next to Scott, and has his head on Scott’s chest. It feels so right to Scott and he wonders what Stiles thinks about it. 

“You’re so warm,” Stiles says the words mumbled and almost a moan, as he burrows closer. Scott tightens his arms around Stiles and then catches Derek’s eyes across the backyard. 

“Scott, I got you a present,” Derek says smirking and Scott doesn’t like that. Not at all. Stiles perks up, though, and Derek brandishes two popsicles from behind his back. “You too Stiles,” 

Scott wants to rip out Derek’s throat, right about now. 

Stiles has always had an oral fixation, and when Scott wasn’t interested he still had a half thought of Stiles making some boy or girl very happy with that tongue and those lips. But now? Scott’s very interested, too interested especially being around the pack. 

They’ll be able to tell. Everyone. No matter wolf or human, and that’s sort of embarrassing, so he’d like to delay that. Be able to tell Stiles first, well after Derek, but same thing. Derek is a creep and knows everything as oblivious as he wishes he were. 

So, Scott gets up and leaves throwing his grape popsicle at Derek’s head and running away like a coward. It’s not until he’s about half a mile away and he feels his phone buzz. He’s hopes it’s Stiles. 

It’s not. But a message from Stiles pops up soon after. It’s Derek.

 **Derek** : You’re such a teenager. 

Scott isn’t sure if that’s an insult to his teenage angst, or his young arousal, but it’s an insult, Scott knows. 

The next is from Stiles.

 **Stiles** : Uh what was that?????

Scott inwardly cringes. He’s not really sure how to answer that, and goes back to Derek’s message to type a quick ‘fuck you,’ its not mature, but it makes Scott feels better. 

There’s a text from Peter next which Scott doesn’t like either, but he goes to the message. Scott huffs angrily. 

**Peter** : Seems like you finally realized what I saw quite a while ago. 

Peter is such a fucking asshole. And a really huge creep especially when it comes to Stiles, and Lydia, and Isaac. Apparently, ‘there is enough of Peter to go around,’ which, gross. Scott doesn’t reply to Peter, no one really does. 

He answers Stiles back.

 **Scott** : Derek was just being an asshole, but it’s not a big deal. I’m actually not really in the mood to hang out there all night. Been thinking about watching Star Trek. 

**Stiles** : Shatner star trek, or pine star trek? 

Scott grins as he walks and types back.

 **Scott** : I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter to you.

 **Stiles** : That’s true. I’ll come now which road you closest too? 

**Scott:** I’m pretty sure you’ve had too much to drink. I’ll run back just get into the jeep. In the passenger side, if you weren’t sure.

He has to tell him tonight. 

It’s later as their watching Shatner and Nimoy because Stiles has a crush on Karl Urban and Scott isn’t in the mood to feel jealous of an actor no one will ever meet. Plus, Stiles talks more during the original version having watched it numerous times before. 

“So, what was Derek being an asshole about now?” Stiles asks when Scott comes back from the kitchen and hands Stiles a mountain dew, having a coke for himself. Scott shrugs. 

“Uh, it’s kind of complicated?” Scott says uncertain, because this obsession with Stiles isn’t really complicated, but it will be if Stiles knows. Scott can see the hurt that Stiles hides.

“Derek knows something complicated about you that I don’t? What the hell is up with that? You barely stand him,” Stiles says and Scott doesn’t disagree. 

“I just don’t know how to tell you and it’s not like I told him anything he just figured it out,” Scott’s palms are sweating, and his heart is beating out of his chest and it’s all he can hear. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Stiles says concern lacing his words. Scott smiles wryly, and takes a deep breath. 

“I like a guy,” Scott decides to start out small. Stiles eyes narrow on Scott and he rolls his eyes.

“Are you talking about how you want to bone your new best friend Isaac?” Stiles words are bitter and Scott knows that Stiles has never liked Isaac, and he knows that half of it is because of himself and the other half is that Isaac tends to be a huge douche bag to Stiles. “I mean, I guess I see the appeal he does have a nice-”

“It’s not Isaac and you‘re my best friend,” Scott says not wanting to hear what’s nice that Isaac has. Stiles stops and looks at Scott hard, hard enough that Scott thinks Stiles can see through him. 

“Derek?” Stiles questions and Scott knows his eyes turn Alpha red.

“It’s you,” Scott says the words almost a growl. Stiles heart starts beating fast, and now that’s all Scott can hear. “I know I’ve been a shit best friend to you. I mean, we haven’t actually talked about that. I should have asked but I didn’t want to hear it. Once I saw how I treated you, how I always picked everyone over you, I wanted to fix it. I wanted to change, go back to how things were. And we’ve never been big talkers about our feelings and I thought I’d just show you and you’d forgive me like you always have,” Scott stands and starts pacing. 

“I’ve wanted to ask you if you’ve forgiven me. But I didn’t because I didn’t want to know that you hadn’t and it’s wrong. I know I should have just talked to you,” Stiles looks confused. 

“Are you saying you like me or are you trying to ask for forgiveness for being an asshole?” 

“Both?” Scott says knowing his puppy look is making its appearance. 

“So, when did you realize this?” Stiles asks and Scott isn’t sure if it’s Stiles natural curiosity or if he’s deflecting Scott’s admission. 

“A while ago,” Scott says shrugging, “Maybe six or seven months ago,” Scott’s lying he knows it’s been eight months and two weeks. 

Stiles is still a little tipsy, and he smirks. 

“What?” 

“I wondered why you were all up on me when I wore that stupid speedo,” Stiles laughs and grins at Scott. Scott looks sheepish, and mumbles something that Stiles can’t hear. “What was that?” 

“Uh that’s when Derek found out,” Scott looks away from Stiles, “Listen, I get that it’s weird for you. But don’t make fun of me for this,” Scott knows that Stiles has a mean streak, nothing serious but Scott really doesn’t want to deal with it if Stiles is just going to be an asshole to him for it. 

“Hey, why would I make fun of you for wanting to fuck me?” Stiles says looking to the ceiling, “Plus, I mean, you haven’t got any in a while. And I know I have some attributes that werewolves like because you guys are kinky fuckers, but I won’t make fun of you for it.”

It takes Scott a minute to think of what to say because Stiles bares everything in plain sight, and there’s something wrong with what he’s saying apart from the obvious. 

“I don’t think you understand, Stiles,” Scott says and moves over to sit beside Stiles on the couch. “I don’t just want to fuck you. I mean, I want to fuck you, shit; I want to do everything to you, for you. This isn’t some crush, not with you, it’s more. It’s not because I haven’t got any in a while. Why do you think that is? Because I can’t? I’m no Derek turning on the sociopath smile, but I do get hit on, and I’m a werewolf I could weed out someone to fuck if that’s all I wanted. I want you, and I get if you don’t want me back. But this has nothing to do with me being a kinky werewolf, I do notice things like that, it’s really fucking hard not to, but it’s not like all I want to do is get you on your hands and knees and bite your neck and fuck you,” Scott says and Stiles is looking half angry and half confused, and Scott knows that doesn’t bode well for him. 

“You do want to do that,” Stiles asks voice smooth and Scott nods his head once. “Just not all the time,” Stiles smirks and shakes his head. “I’m gonna head home. I need to wrap my head around this. And you wanted to know if I’ve forgiven you like I always do? Well not entirely, for some things I have. I’ve forgiven you for ignoring me when we were supposed to hang out to go see Allison. I’ve forgiven you for hanging up on me when Derek and I were fucking drowning. I’ve forgiven you for not caring enough to know that Gerard took me from that lacrosse game and completely humiliated me with his geriatric strength and beat the shit out of me. But there are things I don’t forgive you for, like when you completely cut me out of your life for Allison and Isaac after she tried to fucking kill all of you. When I told you she was dangerous, not just to you, but to everyone and you didn’t care. You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself and what you’ve wanted. And what I should be happy that you care about me now? I almost lost my shit after the nemeton. I almost fucking killed myself and that’s the only thing that brought you back, I mean that’s when you started trying to fix things, right? 

Derek was the only one that was there for me, and you hate him for it, hate that he’s my friend and that he probably tops the list. Honestly, the thing that makes this sad is you had me before Allison. And I got that you loved her, and I got that it wouldn’t be me, and I was okay with you dating her. But then things changed, and each time you did something stupid, each time you forgot about me, each time I didn’t matter I started to hate you.

You’ve put in a lot of work these last months and I’ve tried to forget since it’s over now, and you’ve come back to me. It’s still going to take a lot to think I’m not your last thought and your last choice,” Stiles is at the front door, “Don’t call me or see me I’ll get in touch with you when I want to.”

Scott waited a few minutes before completely wrecking his mother’s house, he tried to keep it contained to his room, but there was a lazy boy and a few family pictures on the way that were destroyed. 

It’s a few days later of Scott barely leaving the house, not only since he was grounded but his mother told him his eyes kept flashing red and that would be hard to explain away. It’s as Scott is bringing that chair out to the front lawn for garbage that he smells Stiles. He doesn’t look up, assumes he’s a few minutes down the street. He figures he has enough time to go and get some more garbage. He picks up three bags from his room and as he’s walking out his front door Stiles is walking up his driveway. 

“Doing some spring cleaning?” Stiles asks and Scott shrugs. 

“You could say that,” Scott says wondering if Stiles actually knows what happened. Scott had told his mother, felt like he had to, since he damaged the house, and had asked her not to tell anyone. She had promised and at the time it wasn’t a lie, but people change their minds, so Scott isn’t sure. He’s not going to broadcast it in any case. 

“I’ve thought about what you said,” Stiles says and isn’t looking at Scott, “I also asked Derek about it,” Scott schools his features as Stiles looks up at him and keeps his breathing calm, hopefully his eyes aren’t red. “I just don’t get why now? You’ve always been straight, or at least never been interested in me, and what now all of a sudden I’m more than Allison Argent?” The name is said with such disdain that Scott can’t help but wince. 

“You’ve always said I was stupid,” Scott says and he doesn’t make it a joke, because he knows Stiles is smarter than him, and he knows Stiles knows that. Stiles never meant to make Scott feel bad for being slower on the uptake, but he never let it go without saying anything. “You’re right that I cut you out when I had Allison and when Isaac and I were closer. The nemeton affected me. I had nightmares for months, still have them,” Scott explains. “Then they started to come true. Which I’m never quite sure if it was my subconscious seeing these things and then dreaming them, or the other way around. Allison went with Isaac and I dreamt that. Dreamt that he took her away and then everything started to crumble around me and I couldn’t really handle that. I didn’t handle that well. But then they got worse. Then it was you,” Scott looks up and Stiles is watching him intently. “You killing yourself, or hurting yourself, and always yelling at me saying that I did this to you. Saying that I was a horrible person, horrible friend, how you wished you never met me. It got worse. So, I checked out on everyone. If I wasn’t around than it wouldn’t happen. But then it did anyways,

At the hospital when they had you on life support I almost lost it, almost ruined everything. I don’t know if Derek told you, but he had to keep me contained, and let me tell you just because I’m an Alpha now, the wounds from another Alpha take as long to heal as if I was a beta. I can just take more, but then again so can he. That might have been when it should have happened I should have realized then what you meant to me, because you’re my anchor. Derek said that I can fix this, that I can make this right, all I had to do was think of you. At first I just thought it meant that I should be a better friend, and maybe so did he, but then I’d think about you to calm down. I still didn’t realize, thought it might be a little strange for my best friend to be my anchor when Allison was before, but it made sense. You make me feel safe.” 

Scott knows that he’s pretty much screwed. However, Scott also knows Stiles. Knows how his brain works more than anyone else, and he knows Stiles if nothing else is constant. So Scott knows that Stiles is loyal, and stubborn, and always hopes for the underdog in anything. He knows that even Stiles held out hope for him, for Scott to come back to him. All Stiles is looking for someone to need him, and if Scott isn’t that person he doesn’t know who is. 

Stiles isn’t looking at Scott when he puffs out a breath and looks to the sky. Stiles looks at Scott then, eyes serious as he moves in close to Scott. Scott’s buzzing with the need to reach out and grab Stiles and bring him even closer. But Scott isn’t as stupid as everyone believes because he knows this is a test so he stands stock still. 

“This doesn’t mean there’s suddenly a clean slate for us,” Stiles says as he moves in close and brushes his lips against Scott. Scott can only take so much, and he’s passed at least one test that’s why when Stiles tries to move back, Scott moves with him, and presses their lips together in a real kiss. 

Scott doesn’t waste anytime as he moves to devour Stiles, moving until he can push Stiles down on the ripped apart lay-z-boy. Stiles doesn’t disappoint and lets Scott arrange Stiles on the chair as Scott straddles Stiles thighs. Stiles lets Scott have his way for a little bit, but Scott is breathing in too deeply, and Stiles will bet that Scott’s eyes are red if the sharp nails on his neck mean anything. Scott’s losing control. Stiles starts to pull away slowly.

“Easy, Scott,” Stiles says as he moves Scott far enough away that he can look him in the eyes. “You have to calm down. I know I might be easy, but it’s a bit much to think you’re going to fuck me in front of your house in broad daylight.” It takes a moment but Scott finally comes back to himself, and looks sheepishly at Stiles. 

“Sorry,” Scott says, but doesn’t get off of Stiles, just leans in closer and scents Stiles’ neck. “I don’t think you really get what you do to me.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Stiles says as he slides his hand down the front of Scott’s basketball shorts and grabs Scott’s hard dick. 

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Scott replies thrusting into Stiles hand. 

“So, tell me.”

“I’ve exceeded Derek levels of creeping,” Scott says as he lets his teeth sink into Stiles throat, not enough to draw blood but enough to leave the indent of his teeth. Scott knows he doesn’t have the upper hand, but he can still smell the way he’s affecting Stiles. 

“Really now,” Stiles says on an upstroke. 

“I don’t know if what I’m going to tell you is going to upset you, or just make you think how pathetic I am,” Scott explains, “I’m hoping for the latter, obviously.” Scott takes a deep breath, “At first I just watched you through your window and if you started to um,” Scott blushes and Stiles grins, “If you started to touch yourself I’d leave, but then I just didn’t. And I’d watch you,” Stiles never stops his ministrations, and Scott is close, he doesn’t want to do this here though. “Are you mad?” Scott asks because he has to know, Stiles doesn’t seem mad but sometimes he doesn’t know. 

“To be honest, I’m flattered, and kind of impressed,” Stiles tells him. “I bet you wanted to climb through my window right?” Scott nods too close to form words. “Maybe take my hand away, sink your fingers in, and then out, and then in again, hmm?” Scott swallows hard. “What would you have done next, Scotty?” Scott looks at Stiles whose eyes are dark, a small smirk on his face, and wonders what he’s got himself into because Stiles will be the death of him. 

“I would taste you,” Scott has to talk around fangs, and Stiles smirk turns into a grin, “Lick around my fingers, and then I’d get you nice, and wet,” Stiles stops stroking, holds Scott, and let’s his thumb run along the head, dip into the slit. 

“Then you’d fuck me?” Stiles asks with false innocence, and it’s Scott’s turn to smirk -eyes crimson, lip curled over a fang that’s peeking out- and shakes his head, blows out a breath. 

“Then I’d fucking ruin you,” Scott leans in heavily, teeth on Stiles collarbone, bites down and moves his hand to cover Stiles’ on his cock, and jacks himself off hard, to the point of painful. Stiles gets with the program, doesn’t stop or tease away more, moves his other hand to pull up his shirt just before Scott comes all over Stiles stomach. 

Stiles lets Scott calm down, lets him breathe in Stiles scent deep, before he starts to wiggle to get Scott to give him a little room. “We should go inside before my Dad has to arrest us for public indecency.” Scott nods, but doesn’t get up, just rubs his cooling come into Stiles stomach, and Stiles just laughs. “You dirty fucking wolf,” Stiles exclaims and Scott just grins, dopey smile and all. 

Scott puts his dick back in his pants, and pulls Stiles shirt down for him before getting up. He offers his hand to Stiles, and pulls him up when Stiles takes it. As they’re walking up the front steps Stiles chuckles and looks at Scott.

“I guess I know how Allison felt,” Before Scott even knows what he’s doing he has Stiles pushed up against the front door to his house. He knows his eyes are red and his teeth are bared. 

“This is nothing like Allison,” Scott growls out, and really wishes he wasn’t so stupid because Stiles deflates, turns in on himself, and starts to smirk. Stiles defences are up and Scott snarls out his frustrations. “You’re more,” Scott starts and doesn’t really know where to go from there, “You’re more than her, you’re more than anyone. You’re it.” Scott let’s go of Stiles and steps back. He knows he has to calm down, but there’s so much he wants to tell Stiles, and it’s all caught in his throat, and his teeth ache to claim. It’s too fast, too much for Stiles and Scott knows this and that’s why he takes a step back. 

“With Allison it was new and flashy and I’ve never felt that way before. But it burnt out -faded, and cracked, and I let it. I accepted it in the end. With you it’s not like that,” Scott takes a deep breath “I know I fucked up. I know I was wrong. When I realized how bad I treated you? I couldn’t face it. I didn’t know how I did that. How I became that kind of person. I didn’t want to apologize not because I wasn’t sorry but how could anything I say make up for it? Make up for not listening to you, for not standing by you, for not being there for you when you’ve only ever been there for me? And then, and then,” Scott coughs to clear his throat, blinks back tears.

“And then I almost lost you. I thought who gives a fuck about my apology if I can never say it? I’d rather apologize with you not listening or not accepting every single day for the rest of my life, just to know you were still here. I didn’t want to pressure you. I didn’t want to annoy you, and I really didn’t want you to think I only came around more because of what happened. Because that’s not what this is. Don’t get me wrong, it was a fucking wake up call, but being around you is what did it. It showed me what you are to me. I feel guilty all the fucking time, but I love you and I deserve it. I tried to stay low key. Hanging out as much as you’d allow, no more because I know you get angry, and I get it, and I didn’t -I don’t want you angry.

You said it’s not a clean slate, and I totally get that, and you can think whatever you want about me but don’t ever think that you aren’t as important to me then you are. I fucked up. Think I’m an idiot for that, don’t think I’m wrong about what I feel for you. Think I’m so fucking stupid for not realizing it sooner.” 

This is the longest Stiles has been silent, and Scott waits with bated breath for Stiles to speak. 

“Scott, we both know I can be a little stubborn. I still can’t say everything is okay. I can’t say that because I know me, you know me, and we both know the next time one of us does something wrong I’m going to get angry and bitter and I’m going to say things I don’t mean, or really what I shouldn‘t mean. I want to forgive you. I want things to be good between us, because they’re better now. I know they are, and I want it to continue. I just can’t jump the gun, even though I want to, even though you’re skirting around what I am to you. I know what I am now,” Stiles says and runs his hand down Scott’s face. 

“I don’t want to scare you,” Scott says and Stiles grins. 

“Trust me, with what we’ve been through the last few years, being your mate is the last thing that would scare me.”


End file.
